📖 Better Together – Week 1 Devotional

The One You’re Looking For

Big Idea: The most important relationship in your life is with God—He shapes you for every other relationship.

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Day 1 – Seek First

Scripture: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” – Matthew 6:33 (NIV)
Reflection:
What if becoming the right person mattered more than finding the right person? Jesus calls us to seek His kingdom first—His way of living, loving, and leading. When we align our lives with God’s heart, everything else begins to find its place.
Prayer:
Lord, help me to seek You first today—not just in words, but in how I live and relate to others.
Challenge:
Before making a decision today—big or small—pause and ask, “Does this reflect the kingdom?”

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Day 2 – Trust the Process

Scripture: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)
Reflection:
You won’t always understand what God is doing in your relationships or in your waiting—but you can trust that He’s working. Becoming who God has called you to be is rarely a straight line.
Prayer:
God, I surrender my desire to control every outcome. Teach me to trust You fully.
Challenge:
Write down one area of your life where you’re tempted to “lean on your own understanding.” Invite God into it.

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Day 3 – Becoming Over Finding

Scripture: “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4 (NIV)
Reflection:
This verse isn’t a divine vending machine promise. It means that when your delight is in God, your desires begin to reflect His.
Prayer:
Lord, shape my desires as I delight in You. Teach me to want what You want for me.
Challenge:
Spend 5 quiet minutes today simply delighting in God—no requests, no agenda. Just presence.

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Day 4 – Love Is a Fruit, Not a Formula

Scripture: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness…” – Galatians 5:22–23 (NIV)
Reflection:
Healthy relationships flow from a life rooted in God’s Spirit. Love isn’t something we manufacture—it’s something God cultivates in us.
Prayer:
Holy Spirit, bear Your fruit in me. Make me someone who loves with patience, kindness, and peace.
Challenge:
Pick one “fruit” from this verse and ask God to grow it in you today—especially in one specific relationship.

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Day 5 – Love in Action

Scripture: “Love is patient, love is kind... It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV)
Reflection:
Real love isn’t flashy—it’s faithful. It’s how we speak, listen, and respond. It’s a daily choice, not a special occasion.
Prayer:
God, help me to love like You love—especially when I don’t feel like it.
Challenge:
Choose one way to show intentional love today: a text, a kind word, an act of service. Then do it.

 

 

Series Title: Better Together: Building Christ-Centered Relationships
Sermon Title: The One You’re Looking For
Main Point: The most important relationship in your life is with God—He shapes you for every other relationship.
Application Point: Shift your focus from finding “the one” to becoming the one God is forming you to be.
Scriptures: Matthew 6:33; Proverbs 3:5-6; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; Psalm 37:4; Galatians 5:22-23

 

 

Me

When I was a much younger man, I used to think “the one” was out there somewhere—floating through the world like a rom-com character just waiting for a chance encounter at the grocery store or the church potluck. I imagined it like a scene from a Nicholas Sparks movie: two people lock eyes, time slows down, the background music swells… and boom—true love.

But real life? It’s more like two tired people arguing over what’s for dinner while a toddler throws string cheese at the wall.

I’ll be honest—when I was younger, I spent a lot of time trying to find “the one.” I wanted someone who would complete me, someone who would make me feel whole. And even after I met my wife, I sometimes still wrestled with the pressure to be someone else’s ideal. That’s a lot to put on another person. Truth is, I wasn’t looking to be the one God was calling me to become—I just wanted someone to show up and fix everything.

And that’s why I’m excited about this new series we’re kicking off today called Better Together. We’re going to talk about relationships—not just romantic ones, but friendships, family, and everything in between. And what we’ll discover is that every healthy relationship begins not with a search for someone else… but with a surrender to Someone greater.

So wherever you are today—single, dating, married, frustrated, content, or somewhere in between—you belong here. And I’m right there with you. Let's explore what it means to be formed by God for the relationships we long for.

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We

Relationships are complicated. They’re beautiful and frustrating. Comforting and confusing. They’re where we experience our highest highs and often our deepest disappointments. And we’re all trying to figure them out—one awkward text message, heartfelt conversation, or silent treatment at a time.

Some of us are single and hoping not to be. We scroll through dating apps, go on blind dates our friends set up, or pray fervently that the next person who visits our church is not only single, saved, and sane—but also gainfully employed and has a good relationship with their mom.

Others of us are married—but if we’re honest, it’s not quite what we imagined. Maybe we thought love would come easily. Maybe we thought our spouse would change. Or maybe we just didn’t realize how much we’d change. And now we’re navigating tension we didn’t expect and trying to remember what we saw in each other back when we were choosing first-dance songs.

And then there are friendships—those can be just as tricky. We want meaningful connection, but we also carry wounds from betrayal, misunderstandings, and the slow drift that happens when life gets too busy. Or maybe we don’t even know how to make friends as adults—because let’s face it, it’s not like anyone’s offering friendship speed dating in the church lobby.

Some of us are in complicated family situations—where love and loyalty wrestle daily with old grudges and fresh misunderstandings. Others of us feel like we’re doing okay in our relationships… but we’re tired, or numb, or just unsure of what “healthy” even looks like anymore.

And in the middle of all this? We’re told to “follow our hearts,” “find the one,” “love ourselves,” and “never settle.” The problem is—our hearts are confused, we’re not sure what we’re looking for, and honestly… we’re all a bit of a mess.

So what if the problem isn’t that we haven’t found the right person—but that we’ve been looking in the wrong place?
What if the relationship we need most is the one we’ve been overlooking?

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God

Let’s get to the heart of this. Jesus, in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, drops this line:

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” – Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

Now, if you grew up in church, that verse might be cross-stitched on your grandma’s wall or highlighted in your Bible. But let’s not miss the depth of it. Jesus is speaking to people who are anxious. People wondering how they’re going to make ends meet. People looking for answers, for security, for something that will give their lives meaning.

In the verses before this, He talks about people worrying about food, clothing, and provision. Real stuff. And then He says—almost offensively—“Don’t worry about that. Seek this instead.”

Now, let’s play with this verse and let’s read it like we often act in our own lives.

“But seek first a spouse, and everything else will fall into place.”
Nope.
“But seek first the perfect family, ideal friendships, total peace in your home…” (all one slide)
Still nope.

What does Jesus say to seek first? Let’s say it together: “His kingdom and his righteousness.”

Now that phrase—His kingdom and His righteousness—sounds kind of churchy. Like it belongs on a banner behind a choir loft. But let’s break it down:

• “Kingdom” (Greek: basileia) refers to God’s reign, His rule, His way of doing things. This isn’t just “heaven when you die.” This is the reality of God showing up in your actual life—your Monday mornings, your late-night arguments, your awkward first dates.
   

• “Righteousness” (Greek: dikaiosynē) means more than just being “morally good.” It’s about right-relatedness—to God, to others, even to yourself. It’s about alignment with God’s heart.
   

So Jesus is saying: If you want the other things in your life to make sense—relationships, purpose, peace—then start with God.
Not with “finding the one,” but with letting God form you.

This doesn’t mean relationships don’t matter. It means they aren’t the foundation—He is. Jesus is challenging a fundamental human assumption: that if we just find the right person, or fix the other person, everything will fall into place. But that’s backwards.
He’s saying: Be formed first. And then the rest can follow. (one slide)

This principle is echoed all over Scripture. Look at Proverbs 3:5–6:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Notice that? It doesn’t say, “In all your ways figure it out, then ask God to bless your plans.” No—it’s trust first, submit first. Then the path clears.

Or Psalm 37:4:

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

That’s not a divine vending machine verse—it’s not “delight in God and He’ll drop off a soulmate by next Friday.” No, it means when your delight is in Him, your desires begin to change. You start wanting what He wants. And that includes relationships formed in grace, truth, and patience.

And then there’s Galatians 5:22–23—the fruit of the Spirit.

“Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…”

Ever notice how these are the exact things you want in a relationship?
But here’s the catch: you don’t get them by demanding them from someone else—you get them by abiding in God’s Spirit.
Healthy relationships are the byproduct of a holy pursuit.

Which brings us to 1 Corinthians 13:4–7—the famous love passage.

“Love is patient, love is kind… it keeps no record of wrongs…”

This passage is often read at weddings. And it’s beautiful. But it’s not just a guide for couples—it’s a picture of what love looks like when God is at the center. And honestly, it’s impossible without Him.

Try loving like that in your own strength. Try being patient when someone forgets the anniversary. Try not keeping a record of wrongs when you’re hurt.
Without God forming us, we can’t do it. But when we seek Him first—when we allow His Spirit to shape our hearts—we begin to love like He does.

So here’s the main point again:

The most important relationship in your life is with God—He shapes you for every other relationship.

Jesus isn’t saying “don’t care about relationships.” He’s saying, get the order right. Start with Him. Let His kingdom shape your character. Let His righteousness reshape your reactions. Because when you’re formed by Him, you become the kind of person someone else has been praying for.

And maybe—just maybe—that’s what “the one” is actually all about.

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You

So here’s the challenge:

This week, shift your focus from finding “the one” to becoming the one God is forming you to be.

Instead of obsessing over who’s right for you, ask: Am I becoming someone who reflects Jesus in how I love, listen, and live?

For some of you who are single, this means letting go of the pressure to be constantly “on the hunt” and instead investing in becoming spiritually and emotionally healthy. Practice patience. Pursue character. Delight in the Lord. I know that sounds super spiritual—but it’s actually really practical. Ask God each morning, “Who are You shaping me to become today?” And then look for ways to live into that.

If you’re dating, this is your moment to take inventory: Am I becoming more like Jesus in this relationship—or less? Am I putting pressure on someone else to complete me instead of letting God complete me?

For those of you who are married, this is a chance to stop blaming your spouse for everything that feels off and start asking God to reshape you. You’re not responsible for their growth—but you are responsible for your own. What’s one way this week you can shift from reacting to responding, from critiquing to encouraging?

If you’re wrestling with friendships or family dynamics, the same principle applies. You can’t control them. But you can allow God to shape how you show up. You can be patient, kind, honest, and forgiving—even when they aren’t.

And maybe you’re here and you don’t even know what you believe about God yet. That’s okay. What if—just as an experiment—you tried applying this one principle: instead of chasing after what you want, try investing in who you’re becoming. Watch what happens. Because even if you don’t believe in Jesus yet, His words still work.

So again, here’s the challenge:

This week, focus more on being the one God is shaping than finding the one you think you need.

Try it for a week. Journal about it. Talk to a friend. See what changes.

Because if we all did that—if we all focused on becoming the kind of people God calls us to be—our relationships would look a lot more like His kingdom.

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We

Imagine a church where every relationship started with Jesus—not with pressure, perfection, or performance.

Imagine if singles were seen not as “waiting to be complete,” but as whole and vibrant, actively becoming who God designed them to be.
Imagine if married couples didn’t just survive under the same roof—but grew side-by-side, letting God chisel them into something more beautiful together than they could ever be apart.

Imagine friendships built not on convenience or gossip, but on grace and truth—where we actually show up for each other.

Imagine families that weren’t picture-perfect, but spiritually rooted. Where the goal isn’t just “getting along,” but becoming more like Christ in how we love, forgive, and grow.

What if the people of God were known not for having it all figured out, but for being the most patient, the most honest, the most kind—and the most committed to becoming?

That’s the kind of community we could be. That’s the kind of movement we could start.
Not perfect people in perfect relationships—just people being shaped by a perfect God.

Because when we seek Him first, everything else… starts to fall into place.

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🙏 Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for meeting us here today with grace, truth, and the invitation to become more like You.

We confess that we often chase after relationships, approval, and fulfillment in all the wrong places—when what we truly need is to seek You first. Help us this week to stop striving to find “the one,” and instead open our hearts to becoming the one You are shaping us to be.

Form us, Lord.
Shape our hearts to reflect Your love.
Train our eyes to see people the way You see them.
And tune our ears to Your voice above all the noise.

For the single and searching, give peace.
For the married and struggling, give hope.
For the weary and waiting, give strength.
And for all of us, give the courage to trust You more than our own understanding.

Make us a church where relationships are rooted in Your kingdom and Your righteousness.
May what starts in our hearts today ripple out into our families, our friendships, and our community.

We love You, and we’re learning to love You first.
In Jesus’ name we pray,
Amen.